In the mid 90’s digital photography wasn’t available.
People I knew, who were chatting and connecting online, were falling in love with people they never met and never saw pictures of. People described their features to each other. Primitive, I know.
I chatted with many people in those days who fell in love online, then, when they met their significant other in person months later, it was a huge letdown.
The debate was ongoing. Some people said “They could NEVER fall for someone they couldn’t see” They needed a physical connection first.
Other people used the argument that blind people fell in love. If you love the person’s thoughts, ideas, beliefs, voice (on the phone) and what they communicated, you could fall in love with a person without seeing them.
I fell in love with Kat before I ever saw her picture. It took 5 months before she mailed me some. (She wanted to lose 10# first). I teased her endlessly. I thought perhaps she had some physical characteristics she didn’t want to tell me about. That happened to a friend. When he finally met the girl of his dreams, he discovered she had one arm and never told him. She was afraid. She didn’t want to lose him.
I was quite happy with what Kat looked like when I finally saw her pictures, but it was a mental adjustment for me regardless. The image I formed in my head, after talking to her daily for 5 months, was different from the reality. It wasn’t anything bad. It was just different. Kat was, and still is beautiful to me. I just had to get used to what she really looked like. and not what I imagined from her description. I taped her photos to my computer monitor for months after she sent them, so I could visual her real self and not the image I created in my mind.
Do you think you could fall in love with someone before you saw what they looked like?
Yes. There are so many factors that go into being attracted to someone that have nothing to do with physical beauty - humor, intelligence, honesty, heart, kindness, the sound of their voice.
But I also believe that there are so many things about our physical characteristics that matter .. .. .. not just beauty, but scent, energy, and other things that are very real but nearly impossible to put into words .. .. .. things that you just don’t know until you actually meet someone in person.
I think that it can be dangerous and potentially painful to fall in love with someone you have never met in person (I know this from experience, personal and that of friends). You can be so sure, so confident that you know this other person and you can have so much invested .. .. .. time, energy, thoughts, money .. .. .. in them and your future together only to find out that they aren’t who you thought, that you aren’t compatible, that it was all a fantasy.
It can also be wonderful and beautiful and everything you ever hoped for. It can be exactly what you thought it was going to be and more.